Swine flu doesn't come from pigs- it comes from men. It's easy to mix the two up.

Warning: If you want to read a fun, lighthearted blog entry and/or you are a male that is easily offended by criticism, skip this blog and come back tomorrow.

I'm going to be quite blunt and cut right to the chase. Lately I have witnessed and experienced many things that have left me extremely disgusted and disappointed with the male sex. Now before you roll your eyes and think "Oh geeze Brooke get over yourself and your petty reasons for hating men" at least hear me out- I'm working on being less judgmental so I expect the same of you, especially since this is my blog and as far I'm concerned my word is law as long as you are reading this.

I am lucky enough to know some truly amazing and beautiful women, who as far as I am concerned deserve nothing but the best and should be treated with the utmost respect. I am extremely picky about who I will be friends with- I have lots of acquaintances and very few friends- so the people I do consider to be my friends have in my eyes proven themselves to be good and worthwhile individuals who just also happen to be beautiful on the outside as well. Once you've made it into my friend club (and yes, it is as cool as it sounds... we have a secret handshake and everything) I will do anything for you. I am fiercely protective of my friends and when people screw my friends over I don't respond kindly to it.

This leads me back to my topic of the day. Lately the people who have been doing the hurting and consequently pissing me off are, drum-roll please, MEN. Notice how I use the word "men" and not "boys"- the males I am referring to are all over the age of 18 and therefore are adults who should be expected to handle situations in a mature and responsible manner. This however is not at all the case. Since when did it become acceptable to just stop talking and ignore someone completely when you are "over it" and move on without even a simple "this isn't working for me"? If you're thinking "oh that doesn't happen" I can assure you that it does. And any girl that has ever had this happen to them will tell you that it's probably one of the worst feelings in the world. Or even worse, when did lying become acceptable? Or when did it suddenly become okay to use people to fill up a boring time in your life and then simply toss them aside when something better comes along? That reminds me of something a certain someone said not to long ago, and I quote "It's nice to have someone around when life is boring. But when things get exciting again I'm not going to keep them around." Wow. Real classy. I know guys like to make-out/do other intimate things that I won't mention, but seriously you're willing to potentially really hurt someone just to get some action? In the "Book of Brooke"- yes it exists- that is NEVER ok, and yet I've seen it happen time and time again. And if you're reading this and happen to be a man and are thinking none of the things I just mentioned are acceptable then please explain to my why you insist on doing them. Please. I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on the subject.

The thing that really blows my mind is that the specific individuals that I am referring to are not at the type that one would expect to do this sort of thing. They are all intelligent, successful and seemingly nice guys who come from good families and have strong morals. They are the type of guy that every girl dreams of marrying... or at least they appear to be. So why then do they feel the need to act in such a disrespectful and immature manner? Why do they think it's okay to be hurtful and disregard the feelings of other? Do they not realize that their actions effect other people, or do they just not care? Or maybe they really don't mean to be hurtful and just don't know how to deal with potentially awkward/emotional situations. Either way I find the whole thing to be discouraging and nauseating.

So in case you haven't already guessed I am not a big fan of men at this point in my life... unless his name happens to be Ed Westwick or Adam Lambert. Call me crazy, but I'm just not that fond of getting shafted and left with nothing but a hurt heart and a sour taste in my mouth.

Oh, and I know that this whole entry has been a major generalization so I apologize if you are a good guy who has never done anything to deserve being put in my "mean man" group. I speak for girls everywhere when I say that I love you and wish there were more of you and beg you to keep on being nice.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Blogging withdrawals

My life is boring and I have nothing to blog about these days. Sad :( Someone please come spice up my life.

On a more positive note, Bryanne will be home in something like 20 days. Woot Woot!

And this is why I love community college

I'd like to take a moment to share with you two conversations that I had today.

So today I got to my history class 5 or so minutes early, sat down in my usual seat and pulled out my notes to review for the quiz that we were going to be taking later in the class period. I was just sitting there minding my own business, looking at my notes when all of a sudden this kid sits down next to me and taps me on the shoulder. I turn to face him and this is the conversation that followed:

Me: "Can I help you?"

Random Boy: "Hi, yeah, I was just wondering if you knew where I could get some weed?"

Me: "Excuse me?"

R.B: "You know, pot. Where do you get yours?"

Me: "I have no idea where you got the idea that I smoke weed, but I don't. You'll have to ask someone else."

R.B: "For reals? I'm sorry... this is really awkward... you just look like someone who would know where to get it."

Me: "Umm... no, I don't"

R.B: "Ok well thanks anyways."

Me: "Yeah, uh huh... no problem..."

After class was over I went to the counseling center to meet with a counselor about transfering to BYU next year. I walked up to the desk, signed in and then sat down to wait for my name to be called. The next thing I know another random kid sits down next to me and after a few minutes he turns to face me and this is the conversation that followed:

Random Boy #2: "Hi, I'm Mark. What's your name?"

Me: "Hi, I'm Brooke."

R.B.2: "What are you here for?"

Me: "I just need to make sure I have everything I need to transfer next year."

R.B.2: "Oh, cool, where are you planning on transfering to?"

Me: "BYU"

R.B.2: "Isn't that a Mormon school?"

Me: "Yeah..."

R.B.2: "You're not Mormon are you?"

Me: "Yeah..."

R.B.2: "Hmm... weird. You don't seem friendly enough to be a Mormon. All the Mormons I know are like bursting at the seams with friendliness... and you're not. No offense or anything."

Me: "Oh. I don't really know what to say to that. I can assure you that I am Mormon.. sorry to disappoint you with my non-friendliness. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go."

R.B.2: "Alright, well it was nice chatting with you Brooke. Good luck with BYU!"

Me: "Yeah, thanks."

So in the span of 2 hours I learned that I look like a stoner and that I'm not nice enough to be Mormon- from two complete strangers nonetheless. Wonderful. I'd just like to make it clear that I am NOT a burn-out and that I actually am a fairly nice individual (I just have a tendency to look mean when I'm thinking- I got it from my mom)- just in case you had any doubts :)

When life gets you down...

there's nothing like crude talking puppets to bring you back up.

If terrorists don't do it for you, there's always grumpy old men...

Friendship test

I want one of these... really bad.

If someone wanted to prove to me that they really value my friendship they would have one rush delivered to my house ASAP. I think the sage green would look best with my skin tone, but I'll happily take any color. If a snuggie hasn't appeared on my doorstep within a week I'll know that I don't have any real friends. Thanks in advance :)

I should really write self help books for a living

Recently I have come to realize three things that have made my life a gazillion times (this is not an exaggeration) easier and happier. Perhaps my little realizations will help you out too. And let's be honest, everyone could use a little help these days :)

1. Being in complete control of every situation is boring and overrated.

2. Thinking that you can deal with every problem by yourself and consequently bottling up all your emotions inside is not healthy. It's okay to ask people for help and show some emotion- This was a BIG one for me.

3.  Change is not always a bad thing. Seriously.

Now if you had gone to a shrink, you would have been told the exact same thing, but with fancier words and all sorts of "how do you feel about that" types of questions thrown in every other sentence, and then gotten a lovely bill a week later. Don't ask me how I know this, but I do. You can feel good knowing that you got it for free and in words you can understand. I know, I know, my kindness even surprises me sometimes :)

Attention Cupid

Dear Cupid,

Since you have such a hard time finding me a decent man (i.e. one that doesn't lead me on, randomly stop talking to me and/or make-out with another girl because "it sounded like fun") I thought I'd help you out this year. Instead of asking for a sappy boyfriend, all I want is a new pair of shoes-preferably grey patent leather high heels with a peep toe and a 4 inch heel- but hey, I'm not picky. That's SO much easier than finding Mr. Perfect. You can thank me later.

Sincerely,

Brooke Bond

P.S. But if you just happen to stumble across the perfect man (i.e. a smart, good looking, funny, charming one with a killer fashion sense and defined jaw line) I guess I could take him off your hands. I mean, I wouldn't want a guy like that to go to waste or anything. I included a picture so you'll know him when you see him.